


This Feels Like home

by maritzalpr



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Home, If I Could Fly, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-02 21:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maritzalpr/pseuds/maritzalpr
Summary: I heard a little loveIs better than none





	1. stripping never ends well

"Take down that thing" Harry groaned, tossing a throw pillow from his bed at Niall. Yes, Harry did in fact adorn his bed with an arrangement of colorful throw pillows in different shapes and sizes.

"What are you on about? She looks smokin'" Niall stepped back, admiring his work. His work being a poster of Emily Ratajkowski nearly naked. "Doesn't she just tickle you pink?"

"Not in the slightest, unless she's hiding a dick between those legs. I'm gay, as we've discussed on numerous occasions" Harry laughed, meticulously organizing his desk, doing his best to focus on anything but the poster. "If you have any David Beckham posters, I could support that"

Niall had been his best friend ever since primary school. It was a surprising turn of events considering they met when Niall hurled himself at five-year-old-Harry's sugar cookie during lunch (Harry began bringing two sugar cookies to school so he could share one with Niall, which instantly fixed things). And now, they were both starting University together in America, sharing a dorm like they'd planned all throughout their teenage years.

"We goin' to orientation?" Niall asked, spreading himself on Harry's bed, shuffling all the throw pillows Harry had set up.

"I just arranged those, you twat" Harry swatted him with his guidance pamphlet on the head, repeatedly and relentlessly.

"Oi, oi! Answer the question" Niall retreated, moving back to his own bed.

"I suppose, might be good to meet people" He replied, smoothing out the pamphlet and tucking it between two books. Niall nodded and promptly tucked his feet in his shoes.

Orientation wasn't at all orientating. It was a complete and utter mess. Harry was sweating through his shirt, he lost Niall somewhere near a hot dog stand and he was being shoved from every possible angle. He ran a hand through his curls and began searching for Niall.

"Harry! Come, come, meet Zayn!" Niall waved him over, excitedly. A guy with an impossibly chiseled face and caramel eyes stood next to him, smiling subtly.

"Hi, 'm Harry"

"So I gathered. Zayn" He extended his hand for Harry to shake. "That over there is my boyfriend Liam. He's in his second year" he glanced at a guy with brown eyes and a sweet smile, who was talking to a short guy with his back facing Harry.

"Pleasure to meet you" Harry smiled, wiping sweat off his nose with his forearm. "How'd you two meet?"

"We went to different High Schools and he was a year above me, but we had the same friends." Zayn explained, shooting a fond smile at Liam. "What are you studying?" he then asked.

"I'm majoring in Mass Communications" He replied, bouncing on his heels.

"I'll be seeing a bit of you then, I'm in Art Studies, I reckon we'll have composition together"

"He was just telling me about a frat party this Friday" Niall clapped and wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders, who just nodded carefully.

"Are you two together?" Zayn questioned, eyes trained on Niall's arm.

"Ew, he wishes" Niall grinned. "I'm very much straight"

"Uhh, I'm very much... not?" Harry admitted. "He's my best friend"

"Ah, I see" Zayn continued. "I'll text you the address, then?" he added, looking at Niall, who nodded enthusiastically.

That's the thing about Niall: everyone loves him. It's impossible not to. With his incredibly contagious laugh, his charming smile which seems to never leave his face, and approachable persona. Disliking him was simply out of question. Which was why Niall found himself becoming a part of Harry's family with no trouble. They waved their goodbyes at Zayn, who reinstated himself underneath Liam's arm and Harry had to admit, he was jealous of them. They tried to explore the stands, but to no avail. In turn, they decided to return to their dorm, fighting about who gave who a piggyback ride. Spoiler alert, neither got a piggyback, leaving them huffing and crossing their arms.

-

Harry had a peaceful first morning. When he woke up, Niall was already off to his morning class, leaving only an unmade bed and a trace of aftershave behind. Harry decided to dress up nicely for his first day, slipping on a white sheer blouse and his favorite mustard colored pants. Without any rush, he walked to get coffee and slowly made way to his Public Relations class. Upon entering the lecture hall, he sat down in the back of the class, slowly taking out his computer and notebook. A girl with brown hair and light blue eyes sat beside him, shooting a shy smile his way.

"Hi, I'm Harry" He carefully introduced himself, stretching his hand out for her to shake.

"Hey, I'm Barbara" She replied, shaking his hand with a smile. "You're British?"

"Yep, born and raised" He proudly stated.

And just like that, their conversation progressed throughout. Barbara was also a Mass Communications major, wanting to become a fashion journalist. She was kind, funny and a very interesting person. They exchanged numbers and Harry was bursting with joy at making his first friend at college (or at least without Niall's help).

"By any chance, are you going to Friday's frat party?" Harry questioned, rolling a pencil between his fingers.

"I'm not too sure, I don't really know anyone" She confessed, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Well, I don't either and you know me! You can come with me and my best mate Niall, he's an Irish funnel who will probably fall into an alcohol induced coma as soon as we get there, so I'll need companionship" he rushed, hoping she'd agree.

"Alright, you've convinced me"

-

Friday came rapidly and Niall was jammed with excitement, forcing Harry to chug from a Smirnoff bottle he pulled from under his bed (??). Barbara was meeting them outside the dorms, as she was getting ready in her own and Harry pitied the fact that she'd have to handle the two of them tipsy. He was now clad in a striped sweater and black jeans, singing the words of Britney Spear's "Toxic" on top of his bed. His phone buzzed in his pocket, revealing a text from Barbara letting him know she was outside.

After an incredibly awkward introduction between a tipsy/flustered Niall (leaving Harry to suspect Niall was attracted to her) and Barbara, the three began their way to the frat house. The music could be heard from blocks away and it thumped in Harry's chest. When they arrived, red solo cups were scattered over the front yard and there was a few people smoking by the front door. As soon as they walked through the door, a girl in an especially tiny crop top forced a drink smelling of vodka between their hands.

"You made it!" Zayn approached, with his arm wrapped around the waist of his boyfriend, Liam. "As you know, this is Liam"

"Pleasure to meet you, mate. I'm Niall and this is Harry" Niall said, shaking his hand and ruffling Harry's hair as he muttered a 'hi'.

"You too" Liam smiled, flashing the two of them a smile that looked more puppy-like than anything else. Harry proceeded to shake his hand as well.

"Let's do shots!" Niall clapped. And who was mildly tipsy Harry to say no to that? They took about three shots of tequila each and it made Harry involuntarily dance to the music, his muscles decompressing as each shot coursed down his throat. Harry took it upon himself to yank the group and force them to dance.

Who's idea was it to wear a sweater? Harry thought feeling extremely hot in his sweltering attire picking at the hem and beginning to slip it off. His friends began cheering him on as he attempted to take it off sexily, swinging it around his finger. Without warning, it was no longer on his finger, but colliding with someone else's face and Harry wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry" Harry stammered, retrieving his shirt from the stranger's face.

"At least buy me dinner first" A sweet, sarcastic, voice said and it was coming from this impossibly handsome stranger he smacked across the face with his shirt. He had blue, piercing eyes and soft cherry colored lips. Oh god, Harry was going to be sick.

"I-It was a- it was an accident" Harry squeaked, feeling very naked with his tummy and tattoos on full display.

"It's fine, really" The perfect, carved by god himself, good looking stranger said. "'m Louis"

"I'm sorry" Harry blurted, his tongue and his brain making absolutely no contact during his interaction with Louis.

"So you've said"

"I am. My name's Harry"

"Ah, very posh, Harold" Louis spoke, offering a soft smile and sipping from his cup. "Nice tattoos you've got there"

As Harry struggled to come up with something to reply, a brunette slipped her arm around Louis' waist and tucked herself beneath his arm. "This is my girlfriend, Eleanor" he added. Girlfriend. Harry forced a smile.

"Hi! It was a pleasure to meet you both, now I'm going to... go that way" He paused, "or something."

When he got back to his friends, all of them were clutching their bellies and doubling over with laughter pouring out of them. "That was amazing" Niall belted out, laughing loudly and turning a dark shade of red.

"Shut up and get me drunk. I just slapped the fittest guy while shirtless" Harry whined, covering his face with embarrassment.

"Too bad for you, Louis is about as straight as Niall" Liam spoke.

"Contrary to popular belief, Niall has gay tendencies" Harry shrugged, earning a smack across the back of his head from Niall himself.

"That's what everyone thought about Louis, but Eleanor has been clinging to his arm for as long as I can remember" He added and Harry frowned, tucking himself back into his sweater. That doesn't mean anything Harry thought, but refrained from saying out loud.

"Come on, let's get you shitfaced" Niall interrupted, throwing his arm around Harry and proceeding to pour an alarming amount of shots down his throat. Thank god for Niall. The two danced together, messily and all over the place. Harry eventually spotted Louis sitting in a couch with Eleanor on his lap, sucking onto his neck. That, however, was soon forgotten because Niall dragged him to take even more shots. At some point, Harry lost Niall and he was left by himself, swaying his body and letting his memory slip with a bottle clutched in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Struggling in dis bitch :v


	2. pretty blue eyes

"I'm deceased. Leave me here to rot. I'm never drinking again" Harry wailed, covering his head with a pillow (his cat shaped throw pillow, to be precise). 

"Okay, okay, you big drama queen" Niall chuckled, placing a glass of water and Advil on his nightstand. 

"How are you not disintegrating as we speak? You drank twice as much as I did" 

"Luck of the Irish" Niall replied, patting his stomach and beginning to perform an Irish dance. 

"When and how did we get home last night?" Harry dreadfully questioned, faintly remembering falling into shrubs and singing in the streets. 

"We left after I found you attempting to cook pizza rolls, but you saw Louis outside and decided to jump into some bushes to hide. You also attempted to steal a doormat while singing Bootylicious." Niall rejoiced, strumming his guitar and Harry cringed at the sound, feeling extremely humiliated. Harry had a particular flare for humiliating himself as it is and, clearly, alcohol enhanced that. 

"Well, that settles it then, I'm changing my name to Jakub and moving to Russia" Harry groaned, throwing his duvet over his head. 

"You will do no such thing, because even after you bitch slapped Louis while naked, he invited us over to the frat house today to watch a footie game" Niall ripped the covers off Harry, then said "And, as I'm sure you're aware, we need friends"

"Fine" Harry huffed "but first, I'm going to shower and scrub the embarrassment off. You're a monster, I hope you know that"

Nonetheless, Harry took an extensive shower, filled with fun activities such as standing still under the scorching water and hoping it'd kill him or thoroughly considering stepping out solely to vomit. Unfortunately for him, he didn't die and he was still very much embarrassed. Curse tequila and its expertise in making Harry act like a proper stripper. But he would get a second chance at a first impression (or a sober one at least) and he had to look and behave impeccably. He put on cream colored shorts and a white shortsleeved button up. 

"Neil, are you ready?" 

"Have been for about an hour, but thanks for noticing" Niall said expectantly, getting up from his bed. "Shall we?" he added, opening the door for Harry. 

The walk to the frat house was even shorter than he remembered, leaving him no time to mentally prepare himself. And this time there was no alcohol in his system to make him forget even for a second how big of a fool he'd made of himself. Harry felt his heart trying to break out of his ribcage when Niall reached for the doorbell. Liam was the one who opened the door, inviting them in with his signature puppy smile. 

"Guys! Come on in, make yourselves at home. The boys are watching the game in the living room, can I get you anything? A beer? A soda? A wine cooler?" Liam began, clapping his hands together like a host. 

"I'll come with you" Harry rushed, attempting to give himself a bit more time. 

"I'm going to say hi, but get me a beer will ya?" Niall smiled, looking at Harry, who nodded briskly and followed Liam to the kitchen. It was spotless, much like the rest of the house. You wouldn't even know it had been jam-packed of drunk people just last night. 

"I'd like a wine cooler, please. How'd you guys get the place so clean in less than 12 hours?" He asked, taking the caps off his wine cooler and Niall's beer. 

"I made everyone who threw up last night clean, which included pretty much all the frat brothers" Liam laughed, tapping his temple with his finger. 

"Ah, smart" Harry replied, following him out into the living room. Niall was already settled in, talking to a guy they'd met last night called Josh and squeezed in between many other frat brothers. Zayn was tucked in the corner of a love seat, clearly waiting for Liam, judging by the smile on his face. Louis' gaze shifted from the TV over to Harry, a smirk spreading on his face. 

"Hey lads, this is Harry" Liam introduced, making his way over to Zayn. Harry waved and gave the beer to Niall, settling on the floor in front of the coffee table. Right across from Louis, who looked like he was doing everything not to burst into laughter. 

"A wine cooler, Harry? Really? I thought you were better than that" Louis immediately mocked, as Harry placed his bottle on the table. 

"I don't appreciate the mockery. 'm still hungover" Harry mumbled. 

"With how much you drank last night I'm not surprised" He retorted. No one else was paying attention to them so Harry was forced to melt under Louis' bold eyes with no one to save him. 

"I'm still very embarrassed about it" 

"Nah, don't be. It was the highlight of my night" Louis admitted, drinking from his bottle. Well, that's good Harry thought. In order to distract from his reddening cheeks, Harry decided to chug his wine cooler. And then another one. And maybe three more. They were hardly making him drunk, but he felt woozy. And thank god for it because it just so happened that about an hour and a half in Elevator (Eleanor, whatever) walked in, obviously, settling on Louis' lap. Right, because what normal person would do that? 

"Can I invite Barbara?" Harry subtly asked Liam, who easily nodded and ran his fingers through Zayn's hair. 

"Hey!" Barbara said as she walked in after Liam about fifteen minutes later, greeting everyone in the room and only hugging Harry. "Could I get a beer?" 

"Yes, I'll come with you" Harry rushed, following her dumbly to the kitchen. "Thank god you're here" he breathed.

"Why? What's wrong?" 

"I can't stand Elevator Cauldron or whatever she's called" He revealed. "She's hogging Louis all to herself and she hasn't even said hi to me. Can you believe that?"

"All right, breathe" She laughed, taking a hold of his hands. "You don't even know if he's gay or bisexual or let alone, anything else about him. After all, she is his girlfriend, no matter how out of love they seem. And you smell like a drunk mom at a cookout." 

"How unhelpful and unsupportive of you to say. I'm brokenhearted and it is all your fault." Harry pouted, crossing his arms like a proper toddler. Barbara shrugged, squeezing his forearm and making her way to the living room. But Harry wasn't in the mood to go out just yet and face Louis, along with his lap dog. Be that as it may, God does hate gays because Louis happened to trot right into the kitchen - with no lap dog, nonetheless.

"Hey" he said to Harry. "I didn't know that girl, Barbara, was your girlfriend" 

"What?" Harry said in astonishment. "No- I'm not- me gay. I mean, I'm gay" Harry sputtered and Louis raised his eyebrows at him, nodding carefully. Sometimes, Harry wonders if there's anything inside his brain. Usually, the answer is no. There isn't. "Eleanor is yours though" 

"I guess she is" Louis replied with a laugh (or a scoff, Harry couldn't tell), rolling a bottle of beer in his hand. 

"Cool. Swell" Harry spoke. If he was embarrassed before, words can't even describe what he is now. He is quivering just from the thought. Needless to say, this interaction had definitely not been swell. 

\- 

Now, Harry is not a violent person, but if Monday had a face he would definitely punch it. When Harry didn't hear his alarm clock, Niall decided it was his moral obligation to beat Harry awake with a slipper. So you could say Harry's day started superbly. And if things couldn't get any worse (or better?) he walked into his Composition class to find there were two familiar faces present: Louis and Zayn. Louis seemed to be slipping through the cracks of his life and was seemingly everywhere. Zayn immediately waved him over. 

"Hey guys" Harry greeted, shifting in his seat between the two. 

"Hi Harold" Louis smiled just as the professor walked in. 

The class passed by insufferably, with Harry squirming every time Louis looked at him. The professor's sentences couldn't be any more boring and he couldn't talk any slower. Harry hadn't noticed he was bouncing his leg until Louis' warm hand positioned itself a top of it, causing him to freeze. 

"Chill out, love" His soft voice said barely above a whisper. 

"Sorry" Harry mumbled, unable to mutter another word and feeling like he might burst at the seams. By the grace of God, the class ended five minutes late (none in which Louis took his hands of Harry's thigh) and before Harry managed to slip away, he was stopped by the blue eyed beauty. 

"Hey, we should exchange numbers, you know just in case either of us needs help with an assignment or something" Louis stated, offering his phone to Harry, who helplessly nodded and dug in his pocket to retrieve his own. 

"Yeah, that sounds good" Harry gulped. "What are you majoring in?" 

"Playwriting and screenwriting" Louis replied, running a hand through his soft hair, earning yet another nod from Harry. Could he do anything other than nod? They returned their phones to one another, staring at each other for a few seconds. 

"Well, uhh, I should get to my next class" Harry announced, scratching his neck and pointing to the complete opposite direction he would walk in, like a genius. 

"All right, text me" 

Text me

Text me

TEXT ME

-

That night, Harry found himself in a stare down with the black screen of his phone. Screw you, Steve Jobs. After staring at it for thirty minutes, he proceeded to pace around it for another thirty minutes. What would he even say? Hey, you're the prettiest person I've ever seen? Hey, are you gay? Would you be willing to leave your longtime girlfriend for a curly and clumsy dickhead guy you met a solid week ago? 

"Harry, what in god's good name are you doing?" Niall asked, standing in the doorway. 

"Seriously considering flinging myself out the window" Harry acknowledged, sitting on the mattress with a huff. 

"What's up?"

"Remember Louis? The cute guy with the really pretty blue eyes?" Harry breathed.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"We exchanged numbers today and he told me to text him. To text him! How am I supposed to do that?" Harry exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. 

"How incredibly dramatic you are" Niall scoffed. "Just say Hi and add a smiley face, he will be forced to continue the conversation"

"What!? That is absolutely ridi- wait, you're right" Harry spoke, making Niall chuckle. He could do at least that. He grabbed his phone, opening a new conversation and looking for Louis' contact. He named himself Lou (how endearing). 

Harry: Hi :)

"I sent it, Niall! I did! Oh god, he won't reply. Take it" Harry panicked, flinging his phone at Niall's bed. 

"Oi, you twat" Niall exclaimed, flinging a pillow back at Harry and grabbing Harry's phone. "He already replied, you dipshit" 

Lou: Hey, Curly! I'm glad you texted

Harry: You didn't think I would?

Lou: I wasn't sure, but I'm glad you did

Harry's heart twisted a bit, but it was then uppercutted when he remembered Elevator. That didn't matter, because at least they were talking. And they did all night afterwards. He didn't even notice when Niall muttered a goodnight and switched the lights off. After a prolonged amount of time and a colossal amount of texts exchanged, Harry drifted off to sleep with a satisfied smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still suck at writing and English is not my native language but I do my best. Be kind and give me some feedback bois, girls and gays :v


	3. over too soon

Harry's first month of college flew by way quicker than he expected. It passed with a rush of classes, lots of homework, hanging out with his group of friends he now felt comfortable enough to call himself a part of and a heap of adjustments. Having a 5'9 tall, blue eyed handsome man, with an amazing personality, in his life being one of them. Louis and Harry became proper friends. Harry might even go as far as saying best friendS (but he wouldn't say that to Niall). Harry had gotten to know tiny quirks about him, noticed all the small things he did and he got to know about him. Harry felt special at the fact that Louis had let him in on his life. They texted daily and hung out almost every day after class, spending late nights in the campus library studying for tests. 

"I might as well drop out now" Louis groaned, tugging his hands through his hair. "I reckon I'd be a good gigolo" 

"I have no doubt you'd be excellent. But if you keep practicing you'll get good at this" Harry tried. Louis asked Harry to help him study for his English Literature class and who was he to say no. So Harry found himself that night sitting in a plastic chair, that hurt his back, in front of a frustrated Louis. If Harry knew any better, he would realize how fast and hard he was falling for a guy who had a girlfriend (and didn't even know if he was gay, but that's just semantics). 

It was Friday night and they were going out to a club. Louis was coming, so Harry needed to look his absolute best.

"Okay Niall, focus long and hard" Harry spoke, holding up a pink shirt with flamingos littered all over it and a plain black one against his torso. "Should I be fun and quirky or elegant and sexy?" he added, gesturing at himself.

Niall looked discombobulated as he stared at Harry and the shirts from his bed. "Uhm, the flamingo one?"

"But doesn't the flamingo one scream 'I'm too quirky'?"

"I don't know what's happening" Niall mumbled, looking bewildered.

"This is a serious matter!" Harry exclaimed, turning to look at himself in the mirror. "Maybe, I wear the black one with some crazy pants?" It had been decided, Niall's input forgotten, Harry slipped the black shirt over his head and stepped into pink velvet pants. 

"Mate, I think you should stop pinning after this guy, he has a girlfriend. You don't even know if he's gay or bisexual, just go out and find someone to have a bit of fun with" Niall had told him repeatedly throughout the week. Harry knew he was right. After they both finished getting ready they called a cab to Pivot, the club they were going to. By the time they got there, everyone but Louis and his pocket dog, Eleanor, were waiting for them.

"Hey guys! We're just waiting for Louis and Eleanor, they're running a tad late" Liam explained, his arm snaked around Zayn's waist with his head on top. After five minutes of Louis and Eleanor arriving, they get in and are led to a table by the entrance. Niall begins listing alcohol to the waitress and in no time everyone has shot glasses clutched in their hands, tipping them back quickly, one after the other. Louis hasn't said a word to him or even looked in his direction.

"Let's go dance!" Harry exclaims into Barbara and Niall's ears. They both obeyed and followed him suit. Harry is flailing and grinding on random strangers by the time he notices Niall and Barbara have disappeared. However, Harry is too concerned by the handsome stranger pressing his body to Harry's back to really do anything about it. He has dirty blond hair and green eyes. And Harry is drunk.

"Hey handsome, what's your name?" An American accent whispers in his ear.

"Harry" to which the guy nods, slowly turning Harry around and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"My name's Dylan" Of course it is, Harry thinks. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Eleanor leaning in to kiss Louis and before he can even process it, he's pressing his lips to Dylan's. It sucks and there's no rhythm to it, but he's here and he's paying more attention to Harry than Louis has all night. After what feels like forever, Harry pulls away.

"I'm going to go - over - get a drink... or something" He mumbles, walking over to their table to find Barbara and Niall devouring each other. "Oi! What the fuck?" The two pull away, Niall wiping his lips and Harry smirks at the two. "Hey, don't stop on my account! Do either of you know where Louis is?"

"I think he went outside for a smoke" Niall says, while Barbara blushes furiously into his neck. Harry smiles and begins to walk outside. He finds Louis sitting at the curb with a cigarette dangling between his perfect lips.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked carefully, sitting a safe distance from him. When Louis turns to face him Harry notices the way his eyes seem glossy and slightly red.

"Just broke up with Eleanor. She called me a fag" He mumbles back, breathing out smoke. Harry's heart stops and he feels relieved, yet heartbroken.

"Why'd you break up with her?"

"Because" Louis snaps harshly, causing Harry to flinch.

It was now or never. Harry had to know, before he let himself fall face first for a guy he had no chance with. He gathered up the courage and gulped. "It's okay if you are, you know." Harry said slowly. "A fag" he added, mimicking quotation marks with his fingers.

"'m fucking not." Louis quipped, whipping his neck to look at Harry with dark eyes.

"Well, are you okay?" He asks delicately.

"Stop nosing in my fucking business, yeah?" Louis growled, flicking his cigarette and getting up, leaving Harry with hurt written all over his face.

-

By the grace of god and the tacos Niall forced them to get after they left the club, Harry doesn't wake up hungover. He hasn't told Niall about his fight, if you could even call it that, with Louis. Overnight, the hurt has turned into a bit of anger and a heap of confusion. It really wasn't Louis' fault. After all, he had just been called a homophobic slur and broken up with his girlfriend of a year. However, Harry was properly confused. He didn't know whether to talk to Louis or give him his space. Neither seemed like they would end in hugs and kisses.

"You've been awake this whole time?" Niall called, observing the way Harry was staring at the ceiling with his hands crossed on top of his tummy.

"Yep"

"I believe you have something to tell me" Niall said, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Me?!? You're the one who was sticking his throat down Barbara's mouth!" Harry shot back and turned his head.

"Hey, you did some tongue sticking too!" Niall retorted, childishly pointing his finger at Harry.

"Don't remind me" Harry rubbed his face.

"Alright, how about this. You tell me why Louis told Zayn he was a dick to you and I'll tell you how I ended up making out with Barbara."

"All right, that's fair" Harry replied and sat up against the headboard. "I went outside looking for him and he looked like he had been crying. I asked if he was okay but he told me he broke up with Eleanor—"

"Hey, that's good news right?" Niall interrupted.

"It would be if he hadn't proceeded to call me nosy and telling me to mind my own fucking business" Harry spoke, looking mercifully at Niall. "He also said he wasn't a 'fag'"

"At least now you know if he's straight or not" he replied

"I guess" Harry mumbled. "But still, we could have been friends"

"You still can be. Liam invited us out to dinner at some restaurant and I'm pretty sure he's going" Niall shrugged, tossing the bed covers off his body and disappearing into the bathroom. 

-

"Hey boys!" Barbara exclaims, from her place next to Liam and Zayn. Niall and Harry enter the restaurant, to find only the three of them at the table. Harry tries not to laugh when Niall greets her in an awkward manner. 

"Where's everyone?" Harry asked, sitting next to Niall. He really just wanted to know where Louis was but subtleness is key. 

"Louis got held back in football practice and a few of the frat brothers and their girlfriends are joining us" Zayn replied, giving Harry a look he couldn't quite read. By the time they were ordering their food, the only missing person was Louis. Harry's heart clenched with every minute that passed. But when he saw him walk through the door, Harry wished he hadn't come at all. A blonde girl in a sorority shirt walked in, clinging to his arm and Harry's eyes couldn't help but drift to the hickey on Louis' throat. 

"Hey" Louis nodded, sitting across from Harry. "This is Debby" 

"Gabby" The girl corrected. Glances were being exchanged across the table and the tension could be cut with a knife. Everyone but Harry, who was looking down at his lap and intertwining his fingers. Niall's hand reached to Harry's thigh, patting it comfortingly and giving him a empathetic smile. 

"Uhh, Louis I didn't know you played American Football" Barbara said, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence. 

"I don't" Louis responded, chuckling. "Football is 'soccer' as you Americans would call it. Your football is stupid, ya don't even play the damn thing with your foot" he added. Harry had heard Louis go on the same rant after practice multiple times throughout the month. More often than not, Harry would like to be able to disappear unnoticed. His heart felt heavy, knowing Louis was slipping away from him and closing up. Now that Harry had stepped into his life he didn't want to stop. 

Dinner was unbearable. With Gabby caressing Louis throughout the dinner and his eyes looking no where near Harry's. He had barely spoken a word throughout it, afraid his voice would break. When everyone was outside hailing cabs and figuring out their way home, Harry decided to talk to Louis. 

"Hey Louis, could I speak to you for a second?" Harry approached carefully, when Gabby finally unhinged herself from him. 

"Sure" Louis nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"I'm sorry about last night"

"I'm sorry for being rude. I was upset" Louis said slowly, looking down at his feet. 

"It's fine." Harry mumbled, linking his arms behind his back. "So, Gabby..."

"What about her?" Louis nearly hissed. 

"She just doesn't seem like your type, that's all" 

"What would you know about my type? You've known me for a month" Louis said angrily. "You think you can throw your opinion in where no one asks for it?" he barked, shoving Harry and stomping towards his cab. It would have looked cute, if Harry hadn't just heard the sound of his own heart breaking for the second time in a 24 hour span.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from 1-10 this chapter is a solid -15


	4. a bunch of good ideas

"I mean, if you really think about it, who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?" Harry pondered, as him and Niall were walking on campus after class. 

"Well, you've done it" Niall replied. 

"Done what?" 

"Officially asked me the dumbest question ever" Niall laughed, flicking Harry's forehead. 

"Hey, it's a real question. Much like this next one" Harry said. "What color are mirrors?" 

"I don't know, but you are color stupid" Niall chuckled. 

"And you're not very funny" 

It had been a week since Harry last talked to Louis. Talked to is a stretch. Got yelled at by Louis sounds more accurate. He was utterly heartbroken, checking his phone every fifteen seconds and hoping there'd be a text and thinking of all the things he could have said differently while shampooing his curls. But it was much too late and Harry had already tarnished their friendship by being Harry. 

"Are we going to the frat party tonight?" Niall asked, carefully glancing at Harry as he spoke. Harry knew why. 

"I don't know..." Harry started, shaking his head. 

"Come on, even if it's just to have fun. You can get way too drunk and throw some crazy shapes on the dance floor. I'll even stay somewhat sober in case you need help" Niall tried and began twerking to show his support. Harry was grateful for him. Whenever Harry was down, Niall was always there to pick him right back up. When he came out in High School, Niall would fight everyone who even looked at Harry funny. 

"How can I say no to that?" Harry replied cheekily, throwing his arms around Niall. 

"All right then Curly, I have to meet Barbara for lunch but I'll be back in an hour or so. Go get handsome" Niall chuckled, ruffling Harry's curls. Harry nodded and pressed a slobbery kiss on Niall's cheek. When he walked inside his room he took a long shower and decided to paint his fingernails with black nail polish, seeing as he was bored and in serious need of a distraction. He'd take it off before leaving anyway. Truth be told, Harry was shitting his pants. Louis would be there, probably with another girl swaying from his arm and probably ignoring Harry. In order to distract himself further, he slipped into a black tee shirt and black loose fitting pants. 

"Hey Harry, are you ready to go?" Niall asked once he walked in with Barbara following on his heels. 

"Yes, sir" Harry replied, waiting for Niall to change speedily. 

"Are you okay?" Barbara asked him. She didn't even have to specify and Harry already knew she was asking if he'd be okay seeing Louis. And why wouldn't he be? After all, they met each other a month and only exchanged about a million of stories and facts about each other. But he'd manage. 

"I'm hoping" Harry shrugged, getting up once Niall walked out of the bathroom. 

"Let's go" Niall clapped. 

Harry got a déjà vu as the three of them walked to the frat house for the first time. Things were much different now. Oh, how he wished he could start over. Not having slapped Louis across the face when he decided to strip off his clothes. But things didn't play out like he wanted and now he was standing in front of the frat house, his body thumping to the loud music like the first time. Luckily for him, Louis was no where in sight for the first thirty minutes he was in there. Unluckily for him, he'd wasted all that time looking for him (which kind of defeats the whole purpose, but whatever) and now he was walking through the door. Alone. No, Harry is definitely not smiling (he is). 

"Hey lads" was the first thing Louis said to Harry. Well, not so much to Harry, but to Zayn, Liam, Niall and Harry. 

"Now that we're all here, I propose getting shitfaced" Niall proposed. 

"Ah, Niall, I knew when I met you that you had great ideas" Louis nodded. 

The group of five walked to the kitchen, being met with about a hundred bottles sprawled on the kitchen island. "I say tequila" Liam said, gesturing towards a full bottle of Patrón. 

"I agree full heartedly" Harry spoke, snatching the bottle and pouring five shots of tequila. "Cheers" he added, taking the shot by himself. He was met with four pairs of wide eyes. 

"All righty then, cheers." Niall said, taking his shot. 

After five more shots, Harry was thoroughly upset he wasn't already plastered. He needed to be in order to look at Louis without wanting to cry or kiss his lips off. Zayn and Liam disappeared to make out and Niall went looking for Barbara, probably to do the same thing, leaving Louis and Harry alone. In a very awkward silence. Harry was pouring himself vodka and looking at Louis over his cup. 

"Harold, I have a proposition" Louis spoke, taking Harry by surprise and causing him to choke on his drink. 

"Let's hear it" He replied, lowering the cup from his face. 

"We should drink as many shots as we can handle, right now" Louis said, in complete seriousness.

"So you want to die, is what you're saying" Harry replied, earning a glare from Louis. "Hey, I didn't say no. Let's do it" he added. Spoiler alert, this was going to end badly for Harry and his shitty tolerance. Seeing as he was already feeling lightheaded from the five shots prior. Louis decided to line up ten shots for each of them, for good measure, he had said. 

"All right, then. Let us begin" Louis announced, staring at his work. They took four shots and the two of them were dry heaving, willing themselves not to throw up. 

"I'm absolutely going to die from alcohol poisoning" Harry whined, clutching his tummy. He already felt drunk, laughing over everything Louis did or said, laughing over every thought that moved its way through his head. 

"I've just had a great idea!" Louis exclaimed. 

"It needs to be better than this one" Harry teased, looking at Louis expectantly. 

"Body shots" Well, shit. This is way better than his last idea, Harry thought. Harry's palms began to sweat just at the thought of sucking tequila out of Louis' tummy, and don't even get him started on licking his neck and taking the lime out of his mouth. This might even be Louis' best idea to date. 

"Are you serious?" He replied nervously. 

"Come on, Curly, it wouldn't be the first time I've seen you shirtless, considering how we met" Louis nudged, causing Harry's cheeks to turn red. "So, are you in?" 

"Yes" Harry gulped. 

"I'll go first" Louis declared, clearing space on the island and hoisting himself up. Harry nearly fainted when he took of his shirt, showing off his tummy and giving him a clear view of his chest tattoos. Harry shook as he leaned down to lick a stripe up Louis' neck to pepper the salt on. Louis' skin radiated heat and Harry felt dizzy. Louis put a slice of lime between his lips and Harry poured tequila on Louis' tummy, sucking it off and moving up. He bit the lime and started to move away, when he felt Louis hand go into his curls and pull him back in. Harry resisted in order to spit out the lime, but rushed back to press his lips to Louis' 

He was proper kissing him now. He felt reborn. Louis' tongue prodded his lips, begging for more. If Harry wasn't so aware of the other boy's heat radiating onto his body, he would think this was a dream. Louis was kissing him. Harry straightened his back, bringing the smaller boy with him but not breaking the kiss once. Louis' arms reached, around Harry's shoulder, moving his head to the side. 

"Oh shit" Zayn's voice was heard and Louis pushed Harry away instantly, leaving him panting. 

"We weren't - this isn't what it looks like" Louis cried, hopping down from the counter. He looked at Harry and Zayn briefly, before he stormed out of the kitchen. 

"What just happened?" Zayn asked. 

"Not much more than what you saw" Harry said "Hey, could you just not tell anyone about this? I think Louis would appreciate that" He added and Zayn nodded. 

"No worries, I won't. I'm sorry, mate, for interrupting" Zayn spoke slowly, looking warily at Harry. Harry ran a hand through his hair, sighing and forcing a smile. 

"'s okay" He replied, grabbing Louis' shirt and leaving the kitchen. He found Niall and asked "Have you seen Louis?" 

"He went upstairs shirtless." Niall said. "Why?"

"I'll fill you in later" Harry breathed. 

After stumbling in on a threeway make out and a room full of weed smoke, he finally found Louis in the bathroom. He looked distressed as he sat on the floor, with his knees up to his face and his hand tangled in his hair. His eyes looking glossy and were filled with tears begging to be let out. 

"Zayn won't tell anyone" 

"Are you sure?" Louis asked, looking small.

"I trust he won't" Harry sat down next to Louis. 

"I'm not gay" 

"Okay" 

"Okay" Louis nodded, leaning his head on Harry's shoulder.

-

"You guys made out?" Niall exclaimed as they waited in line at a 24 hour pizza place. It was one in the morning and they had just left the frat house. Harry helped Louis to his bed, mumbling a goodnight and kissing his head. And now here he was, in desperate need of greasy pizza to drown his feelings. 

"We did"

"And then Zayn walked in" Niall proceeded. 

"Yep" 

"So Louis ran away shirtless" 

"He did, yes" 

"And then he told you he's not gay?" Niall clarified. 

"You're very good at comprehension." Harry teased. 

"Well, forgive me for not understanding your complicated relationship with him" Niall said, shoving Harry's shoulder and smiling. 

"Oh, please, what relationship? We kissed and then he pushed me away" 

"You don't kiss someone you're not attracted to" Niall spoke, shrugging as they sat down at a table in the fluorescently lit restaurant. Harry rolled his eyes at him and bit into his pizza. He was trying to seem nonchalant about having kissed Louis, but his lips hadn't stopped burning since. Truth be told, he was happy. Even after Louis pushed him away, he knew the kiss was something he'd cherish forever. But now that he had gotten a taste, he was obsessed. 

-

"It's pool day, bitches" Niall exclaimed, cannonballing into the pool. 

It was a week after the frat party were Louis had kissed Harry. Things were back to normal between the two of them. Hanging out after class and texting like before. Neither of them even dared to mention the kiss. Nor did Niall or Zayn, but both spared suspicious glances whenever the two of them talked. Harry's heart would still drop down to his stomach whenever Louis ran a hand through his curls or softly touched Harry. So delicately like Harry was something valuable; it made him weak at the knees. 

Now, their group was hanging at the frat house by the pool with beers in hand and sunglasses resting on their noses. Harry was wearing impossibly short yellow trunks and a snapback was laid on his curls. But forget about what he was wearing, when Louis is sitting in red trunks that cling sinfully to his thighs and bum when he's wet. 

"Niall is a nuisance" Harry declared, turning to look at Louis. 

"You're preaching to the choir" He agreed. "Hey, could you put sunscreen on my back?" Oh, how cliché. 

"'course" Harry replied weakly, putting his beer on the floor and picking up the sunscreen bottle with clammy hands. Louis sat in front of Harry, his back on full display. Harry began smearing it while also taking in every single freckle present, the hairs at the nape of Louis' neck where his hands had been a week ago and the two dimples in his back resting above the best bum Harry's ever seen. "All done" he added, his voice squeaky. 

"Thank you, Curly" Louis said. Harry was expecting him to return to his own lounger, but Louis just adjusted himself in between Harry's legs. Niall's mouth fell open at the sight and he started celebrating on his own. Meanwhile, the curly boy was begging god not to let nature take its course and give him a hard on. 

"Hey, I like to be little spoon" Harry pouted, looking at an upside down Louis. 

"Go on then, let's switch places" He replied and they did. When Harry found a comfortable position, he felt Louis' hands reach into his curls which he relaxed on and actually pushed his head into his hands. "You're like a cat" Louis added groggily, pulling back Harry's hair and smiling down at him. 

"Oh, get a room" Niall exclaimed at the pair. Harry was half expecting for Louis to shove him off and shout that he’s straight. But Louis just flashed a smile and softly tugged at his curls. To say Harry was absolutely smitten was a euphemism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though it kinda sucks I love this chapter :v


	5. kissy

"Harry, what in god's good name are you wearing?" Barbara asked, looking up from a magazine to see Harry standing in a sparkly Dodgers getup with pink sunglasses on his eyes. It was Halloween and their group was going to a club inauguration that was a Halloween party. 

"I'm Elton John, duh" Harry replied matter-of-factly. "You uncultured swine. As if your cat woman outfit was superior"

"Sorry, I didn't have any time to get creative with my costume. I had exams, you know." She replied, flipping her middle finger at him. 

"As did I, and lookie here. I'm looking impeccable" 

"You look like you got dipped in glue and dragged through cheap rhinestones" 

"You look like every girl between the ages of fourteen and twenty at halloween parties" Harry retorted, placing his hands on his hips. "Besides, make fun of me when you see what your boyfriend came up with" 

"Oh, no" She facepalmed. 

On cue, the bathroom door swung open to reveal Niall dressed in a cow onesie. He decided to model it, walking as if he was on a catwalk and posing. 

"Ah, you look spectacular" Harry clapped. 

"You really couldn't dress any gayer, could you Harry?" Niall said, looking proudly at Harry's outfit. 

"What's the point of a halloween party if you aren't going to pour your blood, sweat and tears into your costume?" 

"To get drunk is the point, but I see where you're coming from" Niall replied. 

"Let's listen to Niall and go get drunk so I can forget this whole conversation" Barbara said. 

The drive to the club was filled with bothering the cab driver and screaming the lyrics to any song on the radio. Any moment of silence would be invaded with thoughts of what Louis was going to be dressed up as. Harry's lips were starved of Louis and he was going insane. Any time he'd share a sentence with Harry, all he could do was admire his plush lips that were begging to be ravished by him. They met up with the rest of their group outside and Harry could hardly recognize Louis. His entire face was covered in white paint, except for his eyes and mouth that were painted black. 

"What are you supposed to be?" Harry asked. "A ghost or something?"

"Or something" Louis replied cheekily, calmly snaking his arm around Harry's waist. "You look incredible. A spitting image of the man" 

"Thank you" Harry blushed, feeling his cheeks and his waist on fire. Poor Harry, the boy would go into cardiac arrest if Louis spoke more than two words to him. "See Barbara? He appreciates me" he added, earning himself yet another middle finger from her. They were led to their table and there was a tray of twelve shots lined up and ready to be taken. 

"To getting sloshed" Liam exclaimed and everyone downed their shots. 

"Another one, another one!" Niall urged.

At some point, him and Barbara made their way to the dance floor. Harry began bucking his hips all over the place, his forehead sweating from his dancing. Niall appeared and joined the flailing, but got distracted with Barbara's mouth. Well, that's my cue to go, Harry thought. He immediately regretted making his way to their table when he saw a blonde girl, twirling her hair flirtatiously to Louis. Might as well get drunk then. 

"Hey" A guy with brown hair sat down next to him at the bar, dressed as Dracula. "You're dressed up as Elton John, right?" 

"Yeah" Harry forced a smile, even though he felt a bit heartbroken. 

"I'm Nick Grimshaw" The guy spoke. 

"Harry Styles, nice to meet you."

"That straight up sounds like a rockstar name" 

"Not feeling too much like a rockstar, if I'm honest" Harry replied, swirling his glass that contained more vodka than anything else.

"Want to tell a stranger about it?" 

"Well, I know your name so we're not technically strangers" Harry explained, but stopped talking as soon as he saw Nick's amused face. "Sure" 

"Let me Dr. Phill you" 

"Well, there's this guy I like. And he says he's straight, but we kissed about a month ago and he's really touchy-feely but every time we get the close he retreats." Harry spoke. "Plus, he's with a new girl every other weekend."

"It sounds like he's scared. Pressuring him to figure out his sexuality will only push him back in the closet. Be patient, he'll figure it out. Don't let him stomp over your heart but make him feel safe. He's just dipped his toe into this whole new part of himself. I refused to accept I was gay at the start, making out with any girl that walked my way to 'fix' myself. We get there when we get there"

"That's... really good advice. Thanks, man" Harry breathed. These past few months Louis seemed like the sky on a clouded day, but being reminded how hard it is to come to terms with who you are cleared the sky. He wanted to leave Nick and go find Louis to hold him tight. "Before I go, let's take a tequila shot. On me, as a thanks for being my therapist" 

"Anytime" Nick replied. 

"Zayn, where's Louis?" Harry urged as soon as he left Nick, right after giving him a hug and gulping down the tequila shot. 

"I think he's in the bathroom. Why? What ha-" Harry couldn't even hear the end of the sentence because he was already pushing through the crowd of people to find the blue eyed boy. 

"Harry?" Louis asked, looking at Harry in the mirror. 

"Hi"

"I thought you'd be making out with that boy from the bar by now" Louis sassed, not turning around. 

"I'd much rather kiss someone else" Harry replied, feeling bold. Maybe it was the security he felt after what Nick had said or maybe it was the alcohol in his system. Louis turned around to face him, a smile creeping onto his lips as Harry moved closer, putting his arms on either side of Louis' body. 

"I'm not-" 

"Gay, yeah, I know." Harry said, nuzzling his nose in Louis' neck. He could hear his breath hitch and his hands reach out to grip onto Harry's shirt. 

"These are annoying" Louis said barely above a whisper, pointing at the rhinestones lining Harry's entire body. 

"Are they?" Louis nodded, looking into Harry's eyes, breathing heavily. Finally, after what felt like a billion years, Louis lunged forward and pressed their lips together. His hands immediately tangled themselves in Harry's hair, causing him to purr into the kiss. His hat fell to the ground with a thud and Louis pulled away, resting his forehead on Harry's, panting. 

"We - we should probably go out" Louis gulped. 

"Should we?" 

"We should, but I don't want to" Harry wondered if his words had a double meaning. 

"We don't have to then"

"We really do, it's late. Club's probably gonna close soon"

"Okay, but I just want to do one last thing" Harry said. 

"What?" 

"This" Harry placed one arm around Louis' head and a hand on his cheek, bringing their lips together one last time before the went back out (or back in the closet, hahaha Harry's funny). Louis responded immediately, clenching Harry's waist and pulling him closer. When they pulled away, Harry placed his hat on Louis' head and laughed at his now smeared lips. "Looks good" he added, giving him one last peck and walking outside with Louis on his heels. 

They walked back to the table and Harry tried to ignore Niall's wide smile as he looked at him. "What is it, Niall?" 

"Real subtle there" He laughed, pointing at Harry's face. 

"What'd ya mean?" Harry asked, confused. Niall took his phone out and snapped a picture, nudging his phone at Harry. His whole lower face was smudged with white and black face paint, along with his hair.

"Reaaaal subtle. I'm adding this to my Larry album" 

\- 

"Alright Curly, Love Actually or The Notebook?" Louis asked. 

"That is a complicated question that I refuse to answer" Harry replied, looking at Louis. They were in his dorm room, laying on his bed with their thighs pressed together and a laptop propped on them, trying to decide what movie to watch. 

"I'll decide then. I say the Notebook cause I haven't seen it in a while" 

Harry could hardly concentrate on the movie with Louis' intoxicating smell next to him and the way he looked. His hair looked messy and he was wearing one of Harry's Packers sweatshirts, paired with grey sweatpants. Yes, grey. Neither of them had mentioned their previous kiss, either. The only difference is that now everyone knew, thanks to the face paint plastered all over Harry's face. No one said anything, which Harry was thankful for because he was worried Louis would retreat, yet again. He took it upon himself to rest his head on Louis' shoulder. Louis moved in response, making Harry's chest ache. But he was surprised when the older boys' arm came around his shoulders and he tangled his hand in Harry's curls. 

"Are you crying?" Harry asked, almost laughing, when he heard Louis sniffle. 

"No, I'm a tough man" Louis responded. 

"Yes, all handsome and rugged"

Louis blushed in response, shoving the laptop off their laps and intertwining his legs with Harry's. 

"I don't ever want to leave this bed" 

"Not ever?" Harry asked, looking at Louis. 

"Not as long as you're in it" He said, not daring to look into Harry's eyes. And Harry was thankful because he must've looked incredibly lovesick, with the biggest smile on his face. Louis finally looked at him, just in time to catch him smiling. "I love your dimples. I could live in them" 

"Rent's pretty high" Harry teased, nuzzling his face into Louis' neck. 

"Oi, that tickles" 

"'s the curls" Harry said cheekily. "They're a magnet"

-

"Are you coming to my game on Friday?" Louis asked Harry as they were leaving their Comp. class. 

"Of course" Harry smiled, feeling giddy at the fact that Louis even cared if he was. 

"Well, I expect you there with my name on a jersey" 

"I might even bring a poster" Harry teased. 

The week passed quickly and soon he found himself shoved in between Barbara and Zayn, waiting in line to get into the stadium. As promised, Harry was wearing a number 28 jersey with Louis' last name written on the back. 

"You're even wearing his name, god Harry you are smitten" Barbara said teasingly. "Now Niall's going to be upset I don't" 

"This is what lads do" Harry shrugged, attempting to cover up the fact that he was absolutely enamored with a 5'8 loud mouthed man. 

"Yeah, making out in club bathrooms is just lad behavior" Zayn butted in. 

After pushing their way in, they made it to their seats just in time to see their team make their way out onto the field. Harry nearly drooled at the way Louis' shorts clung to his bum. The game started and Harry soon realized Louis was an excellent player. It should come as no surprise that Harry cheered his every move, loudly. The game finished and they made their way to the locker rooms. 

"How'd I do?" Niall asked, wrapping his arms around Barbara.

"Ew, you're sweaty" She whined, kissing him nonetheless. 

"We'll all be out soon, we're just gonna shower and we can all go to dinner to celebrate" He added, giving her one last peck and running back into the locker room. 

"You were amazing" was the first thing Harry said as soon as he saw Louis. 

"Aww, Louis you're boyfriend's so supportive" Barbara teased and Harry was afraid it may cause Louis to shut off. 

"I always say pick someone supportive" Louis said simply and Harry couldn't look more like an idiot, smiling from ear to ear. They made their way to a restaurant near the stadium, sitting outside (of course, Harry seated next to Louis). And maybe Louis' arm was around Harry's shoulder the whole time. 

"Hey, look at those fags" An guy that looked about fifty said to his friend as they were walking past. Louis arm dropped immediately and Harry's blood boiled. 

"What the fuck did you just call us?" Harry growled, getting up abruptly with his nose flaring. 

"Harry" Louis pleaded looking angry but Harry was far too upset to care. 

"I called you a couple of fags" Harry stepped in front of the man. 

"Care to elaborate?" 

"It's disgusting" The man replied, crossing his arms. 

"You look disgusting, but I'm not bitching about it, am I?" Harry snapped, turning back around and sitting. 

"Whatever, man" The guy said and walked inside the restaurant.

"That was completely unnecessary" Louis hissed. "I'm not fucking gay!" He exclaimed, shoving himself out of his chair and leaving into the restaurant. 

Harry was about to get up and follow him when Zayn said "It might be best if you give him a couple of minutes, you know, to calm down" 

"That was pretty brave of you" Barbara said. 

"Homophobia is a disease" Harry mumbled, chugging his beer. 

-

About ten minutes later, Harry went to look for Louis and he found him outside the restaurant with an upset look on his face and a cigarette between his fingers.

"You okay?" Harry asked. 

"No! What you did was unneeded" Louis barked. "I'm not gay, why can't you accept that?" he exclaimed. 

"I never said you were, but I am and not that you'd even consider it, but it affects me as well. The comment was said to me too and I have every right to defend myself, no matter how much it bothers you" Harry ranted, all of his feelings pilling up. "I've experienced homophobia too and it was hard for me to come out too!" 

Harry exhaled looking at Louis, who looked shocked, and sitting on the curb without another word. He heard Louis step closer and eventually he was sitting next to him. 

"I'm sorry" Louis started. "I never thought about what that comment meant to you. You just always seem so comfortable in who you are, you know? You're always yourself, with your crazy patterns and painted nails."

"This didn't happen overnight" Harry replied. "I had to stop hiding and just accept that some people might not be okay with who I am, but I would much rather be okay with myself" 

Louis stayed silent, looking deep in thought at the words coming out of Harry's mouth. 

"I'm really sorry" Louis added, in a whisper, his voice sounding defeated. 

"'s all right. I'm sorry for yelling at that sack of shit" 

"It was pretty hot" Louis said, a smile creeping onto his lips. 

"Oh, shut up" Harry laughed, wrapping Louis in a hug. Louis quickly looked around and pressed his lips to Harry's, taking him by surprise. Louis was kissing him. Entirely sober. With no alcohol in his system except for a beer. Harry trailed his tongue along Louis bottom lip, gaining further access. And now they were proper making out. Harry felt drunk. 

"Has there been bloodshed?" Niall's voice cautiously asked. "Oh, they're just making out. Would you guys stay still while I snap a pic?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This still sucks but that's what it do baby :v


	6. given a chance

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving break?" Louis asked Harry, while his legs were laying across Harry's lap.

"Uhh, stay in my dorm by myself, probably" Harry replied. "Niall's going with Barbara to New York to meet her parents" 

"Straight people make me nauseous" 

"You are straight people" Harry teased, squeezing Louis' toes. 

"Obviously" He replied, dragging out the word as he looked at the strings of his hoodie. "Well, why don't you come stay at the frat house? Liam and Zayn will be there, since we're the only non-americans in the house. Just so you're not alone" 

"Are you sure that I won't be intruding?" 

"Oh, come on. I insist" Louis said, poking Harry's tummy with his foot. 

-

"Where will I sleep?" Harry asked, adjusting the duffel bag he had over his shoulder as he entered the frat house. 

"With me" 

Harry's hands began to sweat almost immediately at the thought of sharing a bed with Louis. They'd laid on each other's beds but never slept in them together. And it made Harry nervous because his increasing feelings for Louis hadn't given him a rest, yet Louis refused to touch on the subject and Harry didn't want to push too far. So he just silently followed him up the stairs and into his room. After getting settled in, the two of them were sitting next to each other on the couch. 

"It is unbearably cold" Harry whined, rubbing his arms to create warmth. 

"The heater is on but I believe it's older than I am" Louis replied, looking up at Harry who was nearly in tears from the cold. "Hey, let's go find every blanket in the house and pile them all here, we order a pizza and watch a movie, how's that sound?" he added, slipping his arms over Harry's shoulder. And they did, the two ran up and down the stairs, barging into every room and peeling of blankets. 

"Josh is gonna hate us" Harry giggled as he took every blanket out of his room. 

"He should've locked his room" Louis shrugged, looking incredibly tiny with a bunch of blankets clad in his arms. They dropped the bountiful collection of blankets on the couch and Harry wasted no time in curling up underneath while Louis ordered the pizza. "You look adorable" Louis said, taking a picture of him and setting it as his background. 

Louis laid beside him, letting Harry cuddle up to him as they picked out a romantic comedy. Harry felt giddy inside whenever Louis threaded his fingers in Harry's curls, smiling fondly whenever he leaned into his touch and when he laughed at the pizza sauce trailing down Harry's chin. Or how he giggled (giggled!) when he tried to reach his tongue to clean it. 

"Harry your tongue is not nearly as long to reach it" Louis laughed, reaching his thumb to scrape it off. In conclusion, Harry was incredibly fucked and head over heels for a guy who profusely denied being gay or wanting to be with Harry. But that's just a tiny hindrance that Harry shoved down with a bite of pizza. 

-

"Oh my god, could they be any more couple-y?" Zayn's voice shook him awake. 

"Are they cuddling? Zayn take pictures from different angles, I want to rub it in their face when they finally date" Niall's voice was coming from Zayn's phone and Harry was discombobulated at the fact that he was notified of what was happening. Louis was taped to his back, face buried in his curls and soft breaths escaping his mouth. Harry was taking note of every aspect of the situation, afraid that it might never happen again. 

-

"Is that my sweatshirt?" Harry asked, looking curiously (fondly) at Louis. He was being swallowed by the sweatshirt as he leaned over the stove, making pancakes. "You look even tinier than normal" 

"I'll have you know I'm 5'9" He grumbled. "The real question is why you have a sweatshirt that has 'muscle machine' written on it" Louis pointed out. 

"Because I am" Harry said, flexing his arms. 

"Ah, very sexy" Louis teased and poked Harry's arm. "Oi, it's actually hard" 

"See? A muscle machine, I tell you. It's even printed on the sweatshirt so it must be true" Harry chuckled, folding his arms around Louis' figure from behind, settling his head on his shoulder. "You're gonna burn them" he added, gesturing to the pancakes. 

"No, 'm not" Harry shrugged, sitting on the counter and going through his phone. "Yes, I am" Louis whined, showing Harry a black circle of burnt pancake batter. 

"I'll do it, you big baby" Harry hopped off the counter and taking over while Louis replaced him on the counter. 

"A man who can cook" Louis praised, smiling idly at him. 

"What can I say, I'm a man of many talents" Harry replied, getting nervous under Louis' intense gaze. "Have I ever told you I have four nipples?" (What the fuck, Harry?)

"Prove it" Oh god, Harry was going to pass out. 

"Right now?" He gulped. 

"I'll believe it when I see it" Louis said smugly as Harry shut off the stove and slowly walked over to him. "What are you? A snail? Why are you moving so slow?" he added, gripping onto Harry's collar and bringing him closer. His hands danced on the hem of Harry's shirt, lifting it and grazing his fingers over the second pair of nipples. Goosebumps immediately rose on Harry's skin, revealing the way he was feeling. "I love this tattoo" Louis said, tracing out the outline of the fern leaves on his hipbones. Their eyes met at the same time and Louis crashed their lips together. No matter how many times they kissed, Harry's lips always ignited on fire.

"On the kitchen counter? Really?" Liam asked unbelievingly from the entryway of the kitchen. Louis immediately pulled away, nudging Harry away softly (no, that's definitely not the sound of Harry's heart snapping in half). 

-

"Hi Curly" Niall said, wrapping his arms around Harry as soon as he stepped foot into the dorm. 

"I missed you, Neil" 

"How did you like living with Louis for a total of seven days?" Niall asked teasingly. "Did you guys maybe, I don't know, spoon or something?" 

"It was everything and more" Harry smiled. "He spooned me every single day, he cooked for me, or tried to anyways, and it was perfect. Until Liam caught us making out and he retreated completely" 

"Well, at least he doesn't only kiss you when he's shitfaced now and that's progress. Give the guy a break. He's had a sexual awakening in less than half a year; he broke up with his girlfriend of two years and kissed his best friend, all in about three months" 

"He only dated Elevator for a year, though" 

"Yeah, and he thought he was straight up until he broke up with her, so you can't blame him for being confused" Niall said, sounding very reasonable but Harry was feeling dramatic. 

"But he confuses me!" 

"Then decide whether he's worth it or not" Niall shrugged, falling backwards on his bed with a thud. 

Harry thought about whether Louis was worth it or not, and he didn't even doubt for a second that he was. He's the strongest person Harry knows. He's funny, charming and doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Even though he shouldn't, Harry finds his defense mechanism of telling people off adorable. And he'd be lucky to be loved by him. 

-

"I'm ready to get buzzed today!" Niall yelled as he entered the dorm room behind Harry. "I can't believe we're already half way through our first year" 

"It seems like just yesterday we were both single and now you're happily in a relationship while I'm ready to jump from a third story window because a guy won't love me" Harry joked (half joked, it was true). 

"And whose fault is it for falling in love for a straight guy?" Niall teased back. 

"Yes, cause our makeouts have been strictly friendly. Just two lads doing lad things cause lads are cool" 

"Exactly. Now go get ready cause if you don't start soon we'll be getting to the frat house at midnight" Niall ordered, squeezing Harry's cheeks. 

"You wish you looked this good" Harry replied, pursing out his lips and cocking his hip. 

"Go!" 

To say Harry was excited for tonight was an understatement. Harry hadn't felt Louis' lips on his own for two weeks and he was losing his mind. After a long shower (in which he sang an extensive imitation of Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You", in honor if it being December), he slipped into a pair of blue jeans and a Hollywood Sound teeshirt. 

"Let's get plastered" Niall announced, looking like a kid. 

The two walked side by side as they made their way to the frat house. Harry couldn't contain his nerves, feeling as though he might explode. The music could be heard from blocks away and Harry eagerly skipped his way in. 

"Where's Louis?" was the first thing Harry said to Zayn, with a frown pressed onto his face. 

"Hey, Harry! Good to see you to" Zayn mocked, but added "he'll be here soon, he's getting out of football practice" when he saw Harry's face. 

"All right" Harry breathed, feeling relieved. That's until he saw the one and only Elevator Calder walk through the door. "God, why is she here?" Harry whined. 

"It's a frat house, we don't have the right to reserve entry" Liam laughed, with Zayn tucked underneath his arm.

"Don't worry, Harry, he won't even acknowledge her" Niall comforted, slipping a shot glass between his fingers. "Now, before he arrives we need to get you loosened up, so drink" and Harry did. 

"Hey Haz" Louis' voice was heard from behind him as he was on his third consecutive shot. 

"Hi Lou" Harry smiled, slowly placing the glass on the table. Louis instilled himself under Harry's arms, bringing a giant smile on his face. 

"How was football practice?" Harry asked into Louis' feathery hair. 

"It was good; coach said he'll make me a titular player" Louis replied softly, looking up at Harry. 

"So you are gay now" Eleanor's snotty voice was heard from behind them. Louis froze and pulled out of their embrace quickly. 

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not" Louis snapped, just like Harry's heart did. 

"Then why do you chase him around like a puppy and act like he's your boyfriend?" Eleanor said, in a mocking tone. 

"Because we're friends. Just friends" Louis words cut into Harry's heart like knives and he had to remove himself. 

"Well, I'll leave you to it then... friend" Harry spoke quickly and in a tortured tone, stepping away from the two, doing his best to ignore Louis' sad expression. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he frantically searched for Niall. He found him outside, talking to Zayn and Liam with Barbara by his side. "Please get me drunk" He said, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

"Hey, are you all right?" Barbara whispered into his ear, looking concerned. Harry gulped, nodding and forcing a smile. She didn't buy it, but didn't push the subject further. The five of them walked into the kitchen, taking shot after shot and drinking until Harry felt like he didn't want to cry his eyes out. Before they knew it, they were stumbling all over the dance floor wildly. 

"Oh god, I'm going to-" Harry quaked and sprinted to the bathroom, spilling the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He dry-heaved as frustrated tears poured from his eyes. In the spite of anger, he began smashing his fist against the wall repeatedly. 

"Harry, stop!" Louis shouted, fastening his arms around Harry. "What is wrong with you?" 

Harry didn't reply, but simply scoffed and dropped onto the floor in defeat. He buried his face into his hands, curling up into a ball. 

"Wait here, don't move" Louis ordered. He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water in his hands, helping Harry to drink it. Thereupon, he cradled Harry's head in his lap, running his fingers through his curls. "Are you okay?" he added cautiously. 

"No, I'm not. I'm not okay with just being your friend, I'm not okay with you denying you have feelings for me and I'm not okay with you kissing me only to kick me aside." Harry spieled, feeling the familiar stinging sensation behind his eyes. 

"I do want to be more than friends. I want it so much it consumes me and my every thought. You and your curls and beautiful green eyes are all I ever think about. But I'm not what you need. I - I'm not what you're looking for. I never will be. Because I'll never be okay with who I am" The words spilled out of Louis' mouth quickly, making it hard for Harry to keep up. 

"Who are you to say what I need?" 

"I'll never be like you. I'll never embrace being different. Every time we would hold hands in public I'd feel like I was doing something wrong and every time we kissed I'd feel scared that someone would find it disgusting" Louis ranted. 

"I don't want you to do those things if you don't want to." Harry replied. "I just don't want you to hide. Not from me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a whole other level of garbage, but I hope you enjoyed it girls and gays.


	7. the curly boy wants nothing more

"Are you all packed?" Niall asked, startling Harry from his intense packing progress.

"Almost..." Harry mumbled, folding a shirt neatly and tucking it among many other meticulously folded shirts. "What will we do about our plant?" Harry added, pouting and caressing a leaf from the fiddle fig tree he had accommodated into the dorm room.

"Let's see if it'll be dead when we come back. Think of it as an experiment" Niall replied with a straight face.

"I'll have you know her name is Gertrude" Harry said in complete seriousness.

"See? It's like with an old woman named Gertrude, maybe she'll be dead when we come back but she will have lived a great life" Niall mocked, zipping his suitcase shut.

"Will we go to the frat house tonight?" Harry asked as he chose his outfit for the airport and carefully laid it on the foot of his bed.

"Yeah, just us five to have a few beers and order something to eat" Niall explained, pulling his suitcase off the bed and arranging it by the door.

Harry wasn't nervous. He felt good after his last conversation with Louis; like he had gotten his dignity back (assuming he had any to begin with). The two of them hadn't talked as much as he would have liked since the encounter, but Harry was calm nonetheless. He decided to go as comfortable as possible, seeing as the weather was cold and not apt for fashionable outfits, proceeding to slip on plain grey sweatpants and a pink crewneck sweatshirt. 

"Let's go then" Harry spoke, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look good.

The two of them walked to the frat house, chatting idly.

"Are you gonna miss Barbara?" Harry asked, kicking pebbles of rocks with his shoes.

"Of course, gonna have to refrain from a New Year's Eve kiss" Niall pouted, even though they both knew he didn't care about that. "Are you gonna miss Louis?"

"He's made it quite clear he doesn't care whether or not I miss him, but yeah I suppose I will. Not that it matters anyway, he's gonna be two hours away." Harry laughed, despite the fact that the words hurt to even pronounce.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to punch the two of ya when you finally get together"

"We won't"

"Whatever, and when you do I'll be best man" Niall grinned.

Not long after they arrived at the frat house, not bothering to ring the doorbell, and walked right in. Liam was arranging bowls with snacks on the coffee table as Zayn shamelessly looked at his bum.

"Hey guys!" Liam exclaimed, with that child like energy he had around him at all times. What an interesting person he was; looks like he could snap a person in half but behaves like a puppy.

"Oi, Harry you have to wake up Louis" Zayn said, a smirk displayed on his lips.

"Why me?"

"Because he's less likely to kill you, than he is to kill us" He shrugged. "Hey, no one forced him to fancy you" He added, to which Harry rolled his eyes. He was annoyed at their perseverance to convince Harry that Louis did have feelings for him, making it harder for him to get over his silly crush. Regardless of his thoughts, Harry did as told and stepped up the stairs silently. He opened the door quietly, peeking his head inside to find Louis curled up into a ball (wearing one of Harry's sweaters that he had left behind). His lips were slightly parted and his hair was a chaotic mess that couldn't look any cuter. Harry could only describe the scene as soft.

"Hey Lou, it's time to wake up" Harry softly nudged Louis, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"No," Louis whined, clutching the blanket closer to his body without opening his eyes. "five more minutes"

"All right" Harry sighed, looking at the watch on his phone.

"But you" Louis said, gesturing the spot between his arms. "here"

Harry felt unsure, knowing this would only push the dagger in his heart further. But we all know he could never say no to Louis. So he slowly slipped between Louis arms and let him pull him into an embrace. Louis breathed into Harry's curls, sighing in relief.

"Okay, your five minutes are up" Harry whispered, to which Louis sighed and sat up, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. They made their way to the living room silently side by side.

"All I'm saying is pizza sounds like the smarter idea" Niall argued, his arms crossed and his expression resembling someone who was making an important decision.

"But I think Chinese food will be tastier"

"Yeah, Liam, but no one's asking you" Niall spoke, pouting.

"How bout we get both?" Harry suggested.

"See? Make smarter comments like Harry" Niall praised, pulling out his phone. After ordering their food they all sat on the couch, Louis on his right and Niall on his left. They chose to watch an Adam Sandler movie and ate in silence. At some point throughout the movie Harry's eyes began to shut. 

"Are you sleepy?" Louis whispered in Harry's ear.

"Mhm" Harry nodded, barely being able to keep his eyes open. 

Louis opened his arm for Harry to cuddle up to him, which Harry did breathing in his nice smell of shea butter body wash and a faint trace of cigarette. Harry knew that for the next month he'd be miserable without the tiny human he was laid on and there was nothing he could do about it. 

-

"We're gonna miss our flight, ya dickhead" Harry accused, standing impatiently by the door. 

"I can't find my neck pillow!" Niall shouted back, opening and closing drawers frantically. "And if I don't find it you'll be my pillow" 

"Or you could buy a new one at the airport?"

"Have you seen how pricey they are? Mine's made of memory foam and everythin'" Niall whined. "Aha! I found you" He added, pulling out a leopard print neck pillow. 

"All right, can we go now?" Harry asked, opening the door and calling a cab. 

The drive to the airport was short and soon they were walking through security. They got on the plane later and Harry fought Niall for the window seat (an amazing achievement for Harry, considering he faced Niall's brute force. 

"Our babies!" Niall and Harry's mums exclaimed as soon as the two of them exited the airport doors. 

"Hi mum" Harry spoke, wrapping his arms around his mum. He really missed her and her hugs. The four of them drove in Maura's (Niall's mum) car. They dropped off Harry and Anne at their house and proceeded to drive home. 

"My baby brother's home!" Gemma's voice was heard and Harry saw her running towards him, jumping to embrace him. 

"Hi Gems" Harry smiled into her hug. 

"I've missed you" She said, pinching his cheeks. 

The three of them walked into the house, settling easily into a conversation. They asked Harry about his classes, his friends and living in the United States. But Harry carefully avoided any questions about his love life, not wanting to admit it was ridiculously pathetic. All in all, it was as if Harry had never left. 

-

Lou: Hey curly I'm bored

Harry: Hi Lou, what are you up to?

Lou: getting trampled by two dimwits

There was a photo attached to the text, in which Louis was sitting in between two toddlers. The girl, Doris, was pulling his hair and the boy, Ernie, was sticking his finger in his ear. Harry's heart fluttered at the picture. Louis with kids was a sight to behold. 

Harry: They're doing what I wish I could, good on them

Lou: :p

Harry decided not to reply, but rather laid on the couch with a bowl of cereal in his hands and watched TV. All he had to do was kick Louis out of his head during his month away and when he returned he should be over him. Just wait for Christmas and New Year's to pass without letting the thought of a tiny man cross his head. But Harry's never been good at waiting. 

-

Harry: Happy birthday Lou! Hope you have an amazing die and don't die because of alcohol poisoning. 

"Harry! This one is for you from me" Gemma exclaimed, passing a bag with a pig wearing a Santa hat over to him. Harry was sitting on the couch, with all of his family surrounding him and all eyes focused on his direction. 

"I must say, I love this packaging" 

"Open it, you wanker" Gemma laughed, throwing a ball of wrapping paper at him. He dodged and began opening the bag. At the bottom there was a pair of Gucci sneakers and his mouth dropped to the ground. "Well... do you like them? I have the receipt if you don't..." She added. 

"I can't accept them" Harry started, shaking his head. 

"Yes, you can and I already paid for them so it's an even bigger insult if you let them go to waste" Gemma argued, crossing her arms. 

"Thank you" He breathed, wrapping his freakishly long arms around her. She just smiled and hugged him back. Everyone continued to unwrap presents while Harry checked his phone. 

Lou: thank you Curly :*

I mean, could you really blame Harry for the smile that crept on his face? 

-

"We're going to Michal's tonight because he's throwing a party" Gemma announced, tossing herself on Harry's bed. 

"And I'm invited?" 

"Of course, I wouldn't let you stay in on New Year's Eve" Gemma said, matter-of-factly. Harry just nodded. 

"Can Niall come?"

"Of course. Go on, get dressed" She clapped and left his room, just as quickly as she came in. 

Harry pushed himself off his bed and looked through his suitcase, trying to find something clean and nice to wear. He pulled out light blue jeans, a plain white long sleeved tee shirt and a black furry coat. And of course, his new shoes. He texted Niall to come over, who appeared in less than ten minutes. 

"Are you ready?" Gemma asked as she knocked on the door. 

"Yep"

The three of them took a cab over to Michal's house and Gemma walked in like she owned the place. The music wasn't too loud and the place wasn't too crowded, which Harry liked. They found Gemma's boyfriend in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. 

"Hi babe" She said, standing on her tip toes to press a kiss to Michal's lips (Harry couldn't help but cringe). 

"Hey Harry! How are you?" He asked. 

"I'm very well, thanks" Harry replied, shaking his outstretched hand. "This is my mate, Niall" Harry added. 

"Nice to meet ya" Niall spoke (a/n: I had to sorry). 

"Let's have a drink, then. Shall we?" Gemma suggested and the three of them took a few shots, but Harry didn't want to drink too much so he then settled for vodka mixed with a lot of sprite. He followed Gemma and Michal to the living room, where he ended up squeezed between the armrest and Gemma. In all honesty, Niall had disappeared with Michal and some of his friends to play beer pong (which Harry didn't want to play) and he was feeling quite bored. 

"Well! If it isn't Harry Styles?" Louis' voice rang through his ears for the first time in weeks and Harry thought he was dreaming. He turned to find the one and only Louis, tucked into a grey sweater and a cup in hand. Harry smiled and got up quickly (maybe too quickly, because he spilled a bit of his drink on the carpet). "Oops" Louis added. 

"Hi" Harry breathed, standing in front of Louis. 

"Don't I get a birthday hug?" Louis asked, spreading his arms open and Harry didn't need to be told twice. 

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, confused.

"Are you not happy to see me?" Louis teased. 

"Of course I am! I was just wondering..." 

"Well, if you must know, I'm here with my friend Stan. He knows Michal from somewhere, I don't really know the logistics but here I am" Louis replied. 

Harry nodded, not knowing what else to say. All the hard work he put into pushing Louis out of his mind just crumbled underneath Louis' vans as he stood before him. 

"Who are you here with?" Louis asked. 

"Niall and my sister"

"Niall's here?" Louis exclaimed. "Where?"

"Ah, good to know you were not that excited to see me" Harry pouted. 

"Come on, don't pout. You know you'll always be my favorite one" Louis spoke, wrapping his arms around Harry and pursing out his lips, asking for a kiss. 

"Kissing me in public?" Harry gasped. 

"No one knows me here" Louis replied, intertwining his hands behind Harry's neck. "Now" Louis pursed his lips out again. 

And if Louis was offering, then Harry wasn't going to refuse. He pressed his lips together and Harry's stomach did backflips. Not having seen Louis, or let alone kissed him made Harry's lips melt and his brain go blank. 

"Do you happen to have a midnight kiss?" Harry asked as they pulled away. 

"I don't know, maybe I do, maybe I don't" Louis shrugged with a small smile on his face. "It all depends"

"Depends on what?" 

"On whether the curly boy I like wants to kiss me when the clock hits twelve"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe there's only a few more chapters left :'v


	8. for your eyes only c'est fini

It's safe to say Harry's start of the new year was all he could have asked for, but his relationship with Louis afterwards might outshine the kiss the shared at midnight. Be that as it may, Harry has every single detail of that kiss memorized; the way Louis tugged on his collar to pull him in, the marshmallow taste Louis had in his mouth which left Harry wondering at what point he even ate it, and the impossibly adorable smile he flashed him when they pulled away. 

But going back to school was a whole new experience for Harry. Louis held his hand, kissed his cheek and walked him from class to class. To say he was elated was an understatement. However, the whereabouts of their relationship status remained a taboo subject. If he was honest, Harry would admit it bothered him, but Louis was finally dipping his toe in an actual relationship. 

"All I'm saying is Valentine's Day is stupid" Harry shrugged as their group sat in the shade of a tree, all with beers in hand and music playing softy from Niall's speaker. 

"Well, yeah because you've never had a Valentine" Niall mocked. 

"You haven't?" Louis spoke.

"Did too!" Harry whined. "Don't you remember Sarah?"

"We were in fifth grade, she's a girl and you're gay" Niall said matter-of-factly. 

"I'm going to ignore the rudeness and go throw out your trash, to give you a second to think about your actions" Harry declared and kicked Niall's ribs as he laid on Barbara's lap, getting up.

"You kind of did ask for it, babe" Barbara laughed, tugging at Nialls hair. 

Harry walked over to the trashcan, while Louis questioned Niall further. 

"So, he's never had a Valentine?" 

"Not one that counts, no. He always mopes around during this time cause he's a hopeless romantic and secretly hopes for a grand gesture on Valentine's Day, but he never gets one" Niall replied. 

"But he's amazing, why wouldn't someone want to give him his grand gesture?" 

"It's not that he hasn't been asked, but he always shoots them down flat."

"Do you think ants have feelings? Like when they are in line and some other ant cuts them off, do they get angry?" was the first thing Harry said to them as he sat back down. 

"Harry, I sometimes wonder if your head is empty but just now, it's been confirmed to me that it absolutely is." Niall spoke, looking at Harry over his sunglasses. Harry huffed in response. 

"Don't listen to him, Harry, I'm sure they do" Louis comforted, patting Harry's thigh. 

\- 

"Remind me again why I'm being forced to go out on my birthday?" Harry whined. 

"It's hardly a rager, we're just going to a bar to have some drinks." Niall rolled his eyes at him and swatted his bum. "Now, stop pouting and get dressed"

Harry chose to wear a grey long-sleeved shirt, black jeans and a black jacket. He attempted to sort the mop of curls on his head, but chose to throw a grey flatcap. "I'm ready" Harry spoke, smoothing out his shirt and fiddling with his hands. 

"Let's go then" They called a cab in order to get to the bar and Harry felt a pool of nerves in his belly. 

"Happy Birthday Harry!" Liam exclaimed as soon as he saw them walk in through the door, being echoed by Zayn, Barbara and Louis. The four of them were sat at a table near the bar. Louis got up from his chair and walked over to him, engulfing him in an embrace. He then squeezed Harry's cheeks and pressed a sloppy kiss to the two of them. 

"Happy birthday, you handsome boy" Louis whispered, pressing his cheek to Harry's chest. Harry hoped the fast beating of his heart didn't give him away. 

"Thank you, Lou" 

"Go on then, let's order some drinks" Niall mused, nudging the two of them forward. 

The drinks came quickly and soon they were gulping away. At some point, Louis' arm came around his shoulders and poor old Harry couldn't bear keeping the smile off his face. They chatted and drank idly. Harry was grateful for it all; for the arm holding him and for the friends smiling at him, even more so when they told a waitress it was his birthday. He covered his face when they brought out a small cupcake with candles on it. Harry was tipsy by then, having sipped on too many beers and margaritas (a wonderfully nasty mix). 

"Stay the night" Louis begged, his hand resting dangerously on his thigh. 

"Okay" 

The six of them stumbled out of the bar and Harry discovered Niall was leaving with Barbara, so they all shared one last hug before parting ways. When they arrived at the frat house, Louis lead him by the hand all the way to his room. Harry's back was pressed against the door and Louis was on his tip-toes, hovering his lips over Harry's. 

"For god's sake..." Harry whined, leaning forward to let their lips meet and Harry knew how seriously fucked he was when butterflies caressed his belly. He softly pushed Louis towards the bed, never breaking the kiss. "You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen" He mumbled, looking into Louis' blue eyes fondly.

"You've never looked in the mirror, then?" Louis spoke and Harry felt like he could explode (figuratively and literally). "Off" He huffed, tugging at the hem of Harry's shirt and he happily obliged. 

"If I have to, then you do too" Harry smiled and slipped Louis' shirt off too. 

"So beautiful..." Louis started, tracing all of Harry's ink with his dainty fingers. "so, so, so beautiful" he leaned his head in, kissing Harry's swallows, then the butterfly and each of Harry's nipples (yes, all four!). Harry's never been a man of many words, mostly because he's not good with them. So instead of telling Louis what was so perfect about him, he kissed all of it. He pressed wet kisses to the 'It is what it is' tattoo on his collarbones, then his cheekbones, his belly and he sucked love bites onto his love handles. Louis looked down at him sinfully. 

"I might be gay" Louis stuttered and Harry shot straight up. 

"Oh" 

"I said might" 

"I didn't say anything!" Harry spoke in defense.

"I just ruined the mood, didn't I?" Louis said, looking down. 

"No, no, no, this is important... for you and I want to hear what you're feeling" Harry shook his head. "I have a question."

"Okay"

"One you might not want to answer" 

"All right" Louis breathed. 

"Why do you think you being gay would be a bad thing?" 

"I guess... that's what everyone wanted me to be... gay, I mean. When I was younger I wore a lot of colorful clothes and was very flamboyant. You know how word gets around, so everyone expected me to be gay and I guess they made it feel like a bad thing. I know deep down me family would accept me for who I am, but maybe they wouldn't? I don't know, it's stupid. I guess I want to be the one to define myself" Louis spilled, slowly and thoughtfully. Harry was trying to keep up. 

"It's not" Harry said. "You have that right. You decide what you are, but if you're gay then no matter how many people suspected it doesn't make it any less true or what you define yourself as" Louis looked at him with wide eyes. 

"How are you so okay with yourself?" 

"I wasn't at first, I thought I was broken and needed fixing. I jumped from girl to girl, but it didn't change how I felt when I looked at boys. At some point, I told my friends and they said they already knew, which made me think 'these are the only people I really care about and they're okay with who I am'. My mum knew the whole time, too and I guess it didn't make sense to feel broken. Even if I was, the people I loved didn't stop loving me broken." Harry explained, feeling warm and fuzzy that they were even talking about it. 

"Do you think the people I love would stop loving me?" 

"I don't really know your family, but I doubt it. And as for your friends, if they don't stop loving Zayn, Liam or me, then I doubt it" Harry said, but Louis still looked unsure. "You're not any less you because you're gay. You're not just gay, you're also funny, loving, caring and an amazing person all around" All of the sudden, Louis launched himself into Harry's arms. 

"Thank you" Louis said. "I'm sorry to ruin your birthday"

"You opening up to me is the best birthday gift I could have asked for" Harry declared, squeezing Louis tighter. 

"Can we cuddle?" Louis asked shyly. 

"Of course" Harry smiled, tucking his pants off and Louis did the same. He opened his arms for Louis, who looked at him funny. 

"I'm the big spoon, cause you like to be the little spoon" Louis grinned, skipping over Harry's body and positioning himself behind him, wrapping his arms around him and intertwining they hands together. Harry brought them up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to Louis' hand, softly. "Thank you, again"

"Always"

"Now you know me, for your eyes only" was the last thing Louis said, leaving Harry with his heart beating at a hundred miles per second. 

-

"Barbara told me to ask you if you want to come with us to the movies" Niall asked, with a towel hung from his waist and his hair a wet mess as Harry walked into the dorm. 

"No, that's all right, I have a lot of work but tell her I say thanks for the invite" Harry replied, tossing his bag on the floor and changing into his duck pajama pants. 

"All righty, I'll be back around ten? Or maybe not, I'll take my key just in case." He spoke. "Bye Curly" 

Harry waved and settled onto his desk, opening his laptop and getting to work. After what seemed like seven hours (only one, really), he stopped to pour himself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. He then paced around the room while he ate, wanting anything but to keep working. But we don't always get what we want, so he went back to work. He heard a smack on his window, but chucked the blame to his imagination. And he heard it again. And again. He got up and opened the window, to find Louis. And the word "Valentine?" behind him, written in petals and candles. If Harry thought he was in love, he might rip at the seams right about now. 

"Wait! Don't move!" Harry exclaimed, putting on his shoes halfway and darting out the door, down the stairs and to Louis. 

"Fancy choice of pants" Louis spoke nervously. Harry realized he was wearing his duck pants. 

"Mhm" Harry smiled, from ear to ear. 

"So, Harry Edward Curly Styles, will you be my Valentine?" Louis asked, his voice shaky. 

"I..." Harry started. "yes! Yes, and a billion times yes" 

Louis breathed out a sigh of relief and grabbed a handful of Harry's collar, tugging him to his lips. And Harry melted into it (as if he'd do anything else). "I'll pick you up at seven, dress nice, maybe even break out the duck pants for me" he mumbled against Harry's lips. 

"Mmm, I might even dust off my pink bunny slippers" Harry said in a whisper. "Will I have a clue as to what we're doing?"

"Well, what fun would that be?" 

"All right" Harry said simply, tugging softly at Louis' lower lip with his teeth. 

"I'll see you on Friday, then Curly" Louis said goodbye, but made no actual attempt of pulling away or releasing Harry's collar. So Harry decided to purse out his lips. 

"More?" 

"How can I say no when you give me that frog face?" 

\- 

"Finally, I can rub it in your faces" Niall yelled, clapping his hands and opening his phone. "I'll make a slideshow, a powerpoint and I might even make a video" 

"Shut it and help me, I have nothing to wear" Harry paced, droplets from his wet hair dripping down his back. 

"All right then, chill out" Niall spoke. "He won't care about what you're wearing, just as long as it's you." 

"However endearing that comment is, I can't show up naked!" 

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind" 

"You're useless" Harry sighed and looked at his closet. He ended up picking shiny purple dress pants and a white ,loose, button up. 

"You look excellent" Niall said. "Handsome and dashing" Just in time, the door shook with a knock. Harry opened it to reveal Louis wearing black pants, a white teeshirt and a black blazer to top it off. Harry's mouth dropped. 

"You look..." Harry began.

"Me? You! I love these..." Louis murmured. 

"Have fun! You love birds, oh I love you two" Niall gushed, ushering them out the door. 

"Let's go then" Louis said, flashing Harry his smile and offering his hand, which Harry gladly took. The two of them walked hand in hand to a car. 

"Whose is this?" 

"Josh's, his dad is rich" Louis explained and opened the door to the Range Rover in front of them. 

"Ah, nice" Harry smiled and got in. Louis ran to the driver side and got in. He stared at Harry. "What is it?" 

"I want to kiss you"

"What are you waiting for then?" 

"We have dinner reservations" Louis gulped. 

"Then we must be quick" Harry giggled, pulling Louis close and pressing their lips together. After making out for what seemed like an eternity, they drove to the restaurant. It was a fancy Italian restaurant that looked very expensive and Harry felt guilty for Louis spending money on him. 

"Reservation for Tomlinson" Louis said to the hostess, who led them upstairs to a private room that had a table for two set up, flowers in the middle and fairy lights everywhere. It had a nice view of a lake and a bit of the city. 

"Louis..." Harry breathed in shock. 

"It's nothing, sit" Louis spoke, pulling Harry's chair out for him. 

A waitress came in with two plates of spaghetti and Harry was awfully endeared. 

"I came out to Liam and Zayn" Louis said as he adjusted the napkin on his lap. "Officially" 

"How did it go?" Harry asked, feeling incredibly proud and feeling his face contorting into fondness. 

"Very, very good" Louis smiled at his lap. 

"'m proud of you" Harry reached his hand across the table to hold Louis'. 

They talked about their days, about their weeks, about the few things they didn't know about each other. About family and everything in between. Harry felt like he might explode from love. And he wanted to tell Louis tonight. They finished their meal and Louis notified Harry that they would be going for a walk in the park. 

"I have, uhh, something to ask you" Louis told Harry, as they stopped under a light pole in the park. The light hardly brightened the scene, but they could see each other clearly. Louis caressed Harry's hand with his thumb, who then spoke. 

"All right"

"I wanted to say how thankful I am to have you in my life. You saved me. I wasted all this time on Eleanor, thinking 'yeah, this is what's normal, this is where I need to be'. Until you walked into my life, well actually slapped yourself into my life, literally, with your curls, your crazy outfits and your beautiful green eyes. I was lost with an empty heart, but you were my light. Everything hurt, but then you showed up. I showed you my heart, for your eyes only" Louis ranted. "So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is... Harry, would you like to be my boyfriend?" 

Harry's heart was beating out of his throat and he felt it coming out in the form of the three little words. "I love you" Harry declared, his heart beating fast. Louis looked stunned. "You don't have to say it back, but I do. You with your loud mouth and the way you pushed me away every time I tried to look into your mind. Everyone told me I was just wasting my time and I just didn't want you to run from me. I'd give up everything if you asked me to" 

"I love you more than anything I could ever put into words" Louis spoke. "You make this feel like home" 

c'est fini

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's over... thank you to everyone who gives kudos and who read this story. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I will be writing another Larry fanfic called Love By Delivery or something along the lines of it so stay tuned. Again, thanks for everything and sorry you never got your smut. I've never written smut so I'm no good at it but I'll try to keep improving haha. Bye, girls and gays :w

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing but I'm doing my best.


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